Fri, Jan. 15th, 2010, 06:17 pm
No longer using this that much. Email me for more info at firstname.lastname@example.org ya heard!
Tue, Apr. 27th, 2004, 06:34 am
Lets see what has been going on.
This weekend was pretty good. On Friday the gf came down and we went to Zolos again. The place never ceases to amaze me. I had probably some of the best tuna in my entire life. It was just seared on the outside and so raw and delicious on the inside. It would just melt in your mouth like you were eating tuna sashimi. After that we came home and Kurtis had all his friends here. She got mad that I was paying attention to them and not her and got mad. The next day she apologized so it worked out ok.
On Saturday we went and saw man on fire. It wasn't what I expected, but it was still very good. The camera work was done so it looked gritty and the colors were darkened. It made for a great effect as they showed Mexico city. I enjoyed it I think the most because it showed the beauty of life. The love for others and the joy of being alive are what really came out of the film for me. Life is precious and not to be wasted and destroyed, and the emotional consquences that follow if these rules are broken are immense.
The rest of the week was just another big school and work blur. This is the last week though, then I have finals on Saturday and Monday. I hope I will do well, but I'm going to take a couple days off work just to give me some extra time to study.
Events really haven't been happening lately. I've been pretty much confined to school and work.
A few things have happened, my gf is moving out of her house and asked me to move in with her. I told her not right now due to the fact that everything is going pretty well in school and with work so I do not want to mess things up if I don't have to. She took it pretty hard at first but then understood why, so now (I think anyway :D ) everything is ok.
Other then that this weekend was relatively relaxed. Friday the girlfriend came over here and we went to the mall so I could buy a new shirt, then we went to outback for dinner. The blooming onion is a pretty magnificent thing. So oniony delicious.
Saturday went out to dinner with the Parents, Kurtis, and Krista. It was really fun, sat outside underneath the flatirons and the weather was perfect. Plus I also got to rock my new shirt so that was fantastic also. After that went over to the gfs and went to a very creepy party. The people there kind of creeped me out so we didn't stay there that long. Also I met my gfs friend Tina's new bf who was pretty cool. He has a pretty cool civic, it was funny though he wasn't what I was expecting at all. He reminded me exactly of Hector from the fast and the furious. Looked and talked the same, but I didn't remember who he reminded me of until work the next day.
Sunday went to work, then came home and relaxed then Bud and I went to see Kill Bill 2 which was amazing. It had action, the Tarentino dialogue, and so many cool throwbacks. I was highly impressed. I also bought the first one, probably going to watch it today. After the movie we went to this cheesesteak place that opened by his house. It was like the twilight zone. It was exactly like where we worked just with a Philadelphia theme instead of a New York one. Though I will say sandwhiches taste alot better when you dont have to make them.
This week hasn't been too bad so far. I got a lot of stuff to do, but it is kind of a lull before next weeks start of final madness.
Well the last week was just a relative haze leading up to this weekend.
On Friday Bud and I left for Las Vegas. We got there are midnight and began the madness. First we went to the New York New York and got some food and just took everything in for a bit. Then we went excalibur and ran around playing blackjack and keno. After a couple cocktails we realized it was about 4:30 in the morning, so we headed off to the strip clubs. $700 and 5 hours later we stumbled out into the light. At the door the bouncer stopped us. There we were pretty intoxicated, discombobulated from being up all night, and very surprised to see daylight and we are getting hassled by 2 guys the size of fridges. It turns out Bud had only given one girl $75 for 3 hours in the VIP room which was cool with the girl but not cool with the club, so Bud had to cough up another $75. Still $450 short of what it should have cost him. The cabbie that drove as back said "Damn kid you hustled those bitches" :S
The stripclub is a wacko place. I had been to one before in Denver and found it mildly amusing but I was generally unsure why people would want to go. The same kind of held true for the one in Vegas. The girls were some of the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. Then added to that fact they were naked. It was fun, but at the same time it is very odd taking to people with no clothes on and giving them lots of money just to be naked. On the other hand I did enjoy the naked girls very much at the time, and quite a bit of money at them. So it ends up a draw on whether or not the strip club was that great. However, it was my first time in Vegas so it seemed like the appropriate thing to do in Sin City.
The next night we woke up at about 6 pm. Feeling very odd from the sleep and alcohol, we went to a giant buffet. It had so much food it was crazy. After sitting there for a while we decided to go cruise the strip. First though we put some money on the Final Four game. We took Duke, who covered the spread by 1 point with a 3 pointer at the buzzer. We then grabbed some beer and walked down the strip looking at all the hotels. First We went to the Bellagio. It is incredibly pimp. Just marble and hot blondes everywhere. We went through the Monet exhibit there. It was a special exhibit and very worth the time. I love how Monet manages to bring beauty to the everyday through the capture of light and color. After that we walked down to the Mirage so I could see the white Tigers. Then back to the New York New York to go on the roller coaster.
Roller Coaster was awesome, after that played some more blackjack, then headed over to the Luxor and played craps. After that stumbled outside and caught a cab over to the downtown area. So there we were at 5:30 in the morning by the giant cowboy underneath the light awning and the only people there were us and a bum. We went to starbucks then headed back to our hotel.
Next morning I woke up, went and played some blackjack, bet against the avs (which I won) and then got Bud up. We went to the Hoover Dam. It is incredible. It manages to combine the beauty and grace of modern construct and industrial design seemlessly with the natural world. It was a incredible merging of the two.
We did that and finished off the day by walking down to the Venitian to see the Guggenheim collection exhibit there. It had a range from monet, picasso, van gogh, delaunay, braque etc. It was a great gallery. I was highly impressed with it. I wish we could have seen the permanent exhibit that is usually at the Bellagio also, but it was gone because of the Monets.
After that we finished it off with some more blackjack, then the flight home. I got home and the gf came over. Then school and working out today.
All in all I am not sure what I thought of Vegas. It was fun but erie. It was like no other place I've ever been. Such a mash of humanity of different races, economic classes, and values. I dont think I want to go back any time soon, though being at school today in the drab boring surroundings, I did feel a pang of want for the flashing neon, stimulation of the senses, and overall entertainment assault that Vegas provided.
Sun, Mar. 28th, 2004, 07:32 am
Back to school
Spring break is finally over.
I am not sure if I am happy or not about it. I like school, but I also do not like all the stress that I have during school. In a perfect world I'd just sit and learn when I feel like it, and not be graded, but since that isn't going to happen it looks like I'll be sucking it up and going in about 2 hours.
Things have been going up and down. Thursday had another one of our classic "Lets go play pool and have a couple of beers" leading into a all night drink-a-thon. I was pretty happy about in all in all. I had alot of fun, was with people I liked the whole time, and it was just all around a great night. The next morning for the 7 hours of work wasn't that great, but it was worth it. Only complaint was the 2nd place we went too was every rich girl/guy in boulder smashed into one place. Then there we were all dirty from work. We only went there because we were meeting some people there. I probably will try to avoid going back there unless there is some very very vital reason to go.
Friday night got into another fight with the gf. Whole reason was is I was having dinner with my parents and some of their friends. I was having a good time. She said she wanted to spend some time with me since I was going to be gone the next weekend. I left early and went over. Then instead of spending time together we went over to her friends. We started arguing and didn't get it worked out until the next day. On saturday I went over and we talked about it all. We used to never fight, but basically all the things she is going through is having a toll on her. I am just going ot try to not pursue stuff that I know will lead to an argument. Probably on Friday night I shouldn't have been as much of a smart ass as I was, instead should have tried to explain why I was mad. I do that alot, end up just making sarcastic smart ass comments if I get really mad in a argument instead of calming down and explaining my position. Hopefully I can make some headroom.
Sunday was pretty fun. I went to work for a while, came home ordered a pizza and rented a couple movies. First was Gandhi which I had never seen before. I was pretty blown away by it. I really want to read more about him now and his philosophies. I never understood his importance before watching that movie. The idea of nonviolent change and its effects was very thought provoking. Also rented 21 grams, the gf came over and we watched it but I had been up since 6 and it was 11pm then and I fell asleep. I'll watch it tonight when I get home from school I think.
I also have a dentist appointment which sucks :P. It is just to get part of a retainer removed still the dentist annoys me. I hate having someone's hands crammed down my whole throat. Last time I forgot to wear my contacts so I had to take off my glasses. Im just sitting on this uncomfortable chair bright lights burning my retinas, my eyes seeing nothing but multi-colored blurbs, then all of a sudden 2 hands are shoved down my esophagus. My dentist is super happy also which makes me despise him even more because he seems to be taking a sick delight in ruining my afternoon. You have to enjoy torturing people to be a dentist I've decided. I didn't think so before I even started this paragraph but now that I am at the end I am sure that you do.
It's almost time to wake up lazy from bed. She'll sleep until noon unless I wake her. It kinda annoys me since I am pretty much a morning person. I like to be up and doing stuff by 9 at the absolute latest. It seems like the day is longer that way, plus everything is nicer in the morning. The world is fresh, light cracking the horizon, just there waiting to have a great day.
So far things have been relatively normal.
Last week I was killed with midterms. I had to study all the time and was basically a zombie for school. I did well though, so it all paid off.
Weekend was fun, went out to dinner with the family, the gf, and krista. I had a good time, and I think everyone else did also.
The week so far has been good. I've gone snowboarding every morning then worked in the afternoons. It has been really nice since I haven't gone riding all year, so to finally hit the slopes for a while was great. I'd just go from 8:30/9 ish until noon or so. Then grab lunch and come home. It was very relaxing, nice to be outside again, plus the weather was great so I could just enjoy the mountains and the outside. I am glad it is getting warm again, finally after school will be able to just go in the mountains around Boulder so will be fun.
I saw the gf last night and we went and saw Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I thought the movie was amazing. The acting, the plot, the direction, it was all great. The relationship between the two characters made me think. I wondered if things hadn't been resolved between the gf and I would I have wanted to erase her as well? Would it really be that much better not having all the tender and comforting moments in order to erase the bad ones? I dont think so on the whole. Even 50 cent knows sunshine wouldn't be so good if it wasn't for rain.
Well here is how it went down
Saturday night I went over. First, I get stuck in a giant traffic jam so I am late. This makes her madder. We go to hollywood video to rent a movie. She hardly says two words to me. We then go to her house. I go in after her, so I have to go say hello to her family. It was a awkward moment. Then I went downstairs to her room. She tries just to put in the video to watch. I stare at her and say "Well aren't we going to talk about this?" Her "Talk about what? We've talked about it" All I can just do is stare some more.
Eventually after much prodding and demanding I get her to start yelling at me about what I did wrong. I yell back a little. Eventually though she finally opened up and told me everything that was bothering her and on her mind. She told me how the death was affecting her and how I made her feel etc. She was mad at me for not doing what she said "I should have known to do" In all reality I probably should have known what I should do, but avoided it. I didn't purposely avoid dealing with her I think, but maybe on some subconcious level it was there. I dunno, I am still out on that one.
We eventually got everything straightened everything out and I went home. Next day I worked, then came home and goofed off. Went out to lunch with the anderson then just chilled.
The gf came over that night. We talked some more about everything and just hung out. Monday morning was nice, we went to starbucks, she read a book while I did my homework. It was very relaxing and a good time.
Today was hard, had a test I did badly on. Well it isn't exactly true. I got a relatively good grade. I am scared though if I dont do the best. I am afraid that if I start to slip at all I will just give up and completely fail, ruining any future chances I could have. I did that in highschool, and it took going to CSU to get back on track so I could show that I could do well, then switch here to CU. Right now I am very worried about the future. I am scared that I wont have the education to get a job I want. I am aware money isn't everything, however I want the freedom it would provide. If a problem arises I would rather be financially secure so I wont have to worry about money problems. With my tax return I'll finally get my dad paid off. So that is a good start.
With all my drama and midterms I've been in a haze lately. I dont feel like my normal happy self, I am hoping with spring break next week, I should be able to make a transition back to myself.
Fri, Mar. 12th, 2004, 04:49 pm
This has been a crazy week.
Monday started off on the weird note as previously described. I then got a hold of my girl friend and she told me she read a email from one of the guy who died's friends. It made her wig out and that is why she left in a huff. I went to school etc. and then went down and visited her that afternoon/night. First we went and saw starsky and hutch which I thought was very funny. Then we went to the mall and to chilis. Then I had to go and everything seemed cool. She wanted me to come down on Wednesday and I told her I probably thought I could.
Tuesday night, I had a bunch of stuff to do this week so I told her I couldn't come the next day. She seemed fine.
Wednesday, school, did hw, normal day. I talk to gf she asks if she and a friend can come over. I tell her I am busy with schoolwork and dont really want to see them. Bad move. We talk it out, and she seems to understand why. She does ask me out of the blue if I am cheating on her. I am shocked and say no. Somehow since my life is full I must have another gf according to her friends. I get kinda mad because I feel bad enough not giving her enough time, I couldn't possibly maintain another girl. One is alot of work. She asks if I can come for the memorial services either thursday or saturday, but I already have to work those two days. Getting a shift covered is near impossible so there is no chance of someone covering.
Thursday, school, boxing, work, lifting. again, normal.
Friday, insanity. Well, thats not entirely true. The day started out nice. It was beautiful out, I went to starbucks in the morning, drank some coffee got all my homework done, then went to noodles and company with my mom for lunch. Classes went easy, I had a really long physics homework but got it all done and had fun doing it. I usually do my homework with the same people on friday afternoons and they are pretty cool so even though physics is annoying, at least that aspect is fun. I come home play some cs for a hour. I then go with my family out to dinner to a Indian place for my dad's birthday that happened last week. We all had a good time. I then come home and it starts.
First I get a call from my girlfriend and she is obviously very drunk. She hardly ever drinks, but I think because of her week she went all out. First comment "Why don't you love me anymore?" I was pretty tired but confused. Just because I don't devote all my time to her doesn't mean I dont love her. In fact before this week me having a very busy schedule was never a issue at all. Then she ranted that she wasn't good enough for me, and she was fat. Then she said if I wanted to break up with her because I didn't love her that was ok. I tell her I dont want to break up with her, I do love her and why is she being like this. She kinda rants a bit, then her friend takes over the phone. I relay messages through her friend but she is very convinced I don't love her and want to leave her. This goes on for a while then the conversation ends and I turn off my phone because i have to be to work in 5 hours and I need sleep.
I wake up to 3 messages. One from her friend saying oh well guess you are asleep. Next one is from the gf saying "You dont love me anymore etc. etc." Then another one from the gf saying to the effect I've called you 8 times and you haven't picked up you dont care or love me I am breaking up with you."
I call her friend first and talk about what happened. She said the gf was mad I wasn't there all week etc. She says the gf is breaking up with me because she thinks that is what I want her to do.
Eventually I get a hold of the gf. The first conversation is me "Did you really mean all that?" Her "Yes" Me "I do love you etc." A customer comes in so I have to call her back.
2nd conversation goes better and I tell her I am going to see her tonight. I tell her I love her goodbye, and she says she loves me too.
Work the rest of the morning. Then after work talk to the gf's friend. She tells me the gf doesn't want to break up with me, she doesn't know why she did it except she thought I wanted it. Also she tells me the gf's mother tells her she isn't good enough for me, and I am going to dump her constantly. When the gf told her parents about it this morning her dad was upset she broke up with me, and her mom said to the effect good he is too good for you, better you two break up now, then he dumps you later. However, she says the gf is going to talk to me about it all tonight but she doesn't want to break up.
So that is where I now am. I just got done lifting, going to finish some homework up, then when the gf gets off work, go deal with the situation.
Sun, Mar. 7th, 2004, 11:36 am
World of Muck
Sunday started out normal enough. I went to work and it was going fine. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was on so I watched that while I did prep. I called my gf and she seemed fine. The night before she went out with her friends and seemed to be ok.
Then my boss invited me to the Nuggets game. 14th Row seats, middle of the court. So since everything seemed to be ok I told my gf I was going to go to the game and see her afterwards. I should have thought it through, but I didn't. I dont know why I do things like that and without putting the proper thought into them. Then after work I went home and called my gf again.
The result was she blew up at me. She was so mad screaming me at the phone saying she needed me there etc. I told her about how I felt and how she didn't wanna seem to talk to me about it and seemed to be fine. She responded saying I should have known that she needed me and that I should have asked her how she was feeling etc. I had asked her that, but I agree with her that I should have known that she really wasn't ok. We fought and fought and fought. The end result was I had to go back to work to cover for another guy so someone would be able to take the seats and not let them go to waste. This made it so I could see my gf earlier and spend more time with her. The other result is I got to work 12 and a half hours yesterday.
She came over and we talked things out. She was just very hurt and scared. She cried for a while, and all I really could do was just be there, not much else I could contribute. I feel horrible that I cant do anything else to help her.
This morning started off ok. She was still kinda recovering from letting go the night before. I had to finish up some homework so she sat while I did that. Afterwards we went to Ihop. I just made dumb jokes and talked about whatever and by the end she was smiling and joking back. We came home and I went and let the dog out and fed it etc. While I was doing that she checked her email. I went outside and she was getting ready to go. She was very visibly upset and despondant. She just said I have to go, and I asked her what was wrong but she just kept saying nothing and then I tried to get her to talk. Then she just left.
Now I am here about to go to school. Hopefully it will be a mind relief.